LISTENING MODE

Before an important conversation, take time to center yourself. Calm yourself down and prepare mentally and emotionally.

PREPARATION

Write out how you want to present whatever points you think are important to assert in a high-stakes conversation, and practice this script.

EMOTIONAL REFLECTION

If the other party is more emotionally activated, forget your script. Try emotion labeling—“I’m hearing that you’re really angry”—to convey you hear how they might be feeling.

CHECK IN

Once you’ve conveyed an important point, ask the other party how they’re feeling about it. Then, paraphrase their communication to ensure you’re hearing them accurately and empathetically.

DIAL BACK

Slow down an emotional conversation by managing your energy. Talk more slowly, so you have more resources to invest in the listening process.

John Mitchell is a licensed psychologist at University Park’s Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS).